Open For Business on a Winter Day

As I sat at an outdoor cafe without a mask

…the sun shone down hard. And I realized I’m as open to others as I choose to be. I could have come here a thousand times to this one. Yet I could have sat closed in my own thoughts. I could be here one time and this time open my heart and mind to what is all around. Intention matters.

My goal right now, ironically, conversely, orthogonally, truthfully is not to have intention towards others. That’s my intention. Also not to push. Old realizations recently revisited. How to live in the present without pushing an agenda. Maybe that starts with not having an agenda?

How about get curious about others? Do they have agendas? Surely they do? What if I gently allowed others to express their agendas? Would I be able to maintain my own individuality? That’s a lot of questions.

Agendas. I’m curious right now what others are trying to do here. I’m trying not to have an agenda but of course I’m a walking agenda. Sitting here trying to write about trying to be open about what other people are trying to do.

The guy near me apologizes for the noise from his two young girls. I say it’s not bothering me and he expresses surprise and appreciation. He says the sun is so nice today.

Before the recent Covid surge and Christmas travel and party related disasters I was so focused on relationships I felt I was developing that I felt no need to sit in cafes and wonder about people, talk to people. As time stretches itself around me, or I through it, now I feel differently. Now I desire to look, to be seen, to talk a little along with my busy writing.

I swear there is something more here. More than me with my agendas surrounded by others with theirs. What if we’re all caught up in a flow and also a dance and even other things that aren’t readily observable by us? So we show up with our intentions and our agendas yet so much more is happening beyond what does and doesn’t seem to go our way. What about that?